Think & Grow Gorgeous

Whether you’re ready to meet Mr. Right—or just Mr. Right Now — you must go where the men are. But before you do that, you must not skip one vital step. Otherwise, you risk attracting no men, substandard men, or a parade of clowns who possess your last boyfriend's scariest characteristics.

You have to summon your inner gorgeousness.

And you are gorgeous. Yes, you. It doesn't matter if you hate your nose, your eyes are too close together, or you need to drop a couple of pounds. Any woman can be gorgeous if she uses her head. The outside world (and the way its inhabitants treat you) is a reflection of your thoughts.

Therefore, you must think of yourself as beautiful. And you must believe it.

This means that when you look at yourself in the mirror, you no longer berate yourself for your dimply thighs. You don't sigh over the lines in your forehead. You resist the temptation to rent out your garage to finance a boob job.

Instead, take stock of what you have going for you. Forget about your ripply forehead; how do you feel about your eyes? Are they especially expressive? A lovely color? Concentrate on the positive. (Just so you know, nobody will ever be able to bounce a quarter off my stomach, but I happen to possess amazing legs.)

Pick out what makes you beautiful. Focus on it. When you walk into a room, draw back your shoulders. Think to yourself, "I am gorgeous." Announce this in front of your bathroom mirror (but not, for obvious reasons, in front of public bathroom mirrors).

But being gorgeous—or rivetingly attractive—depends more than on just the arrangement of your features, as seemingly plain women like Wallis Simpson, for whom a King of England abdicated his throne, understood.

You have to know what qualities make you special. What exactly do you have to offer?

Sieze a pen and paper right this second (yes, this second). Bring to mind the compliments you've been given over the course of your life. It doesn't matter if it you got them when you were 12.

Have people told you you're especially polite? Kind? Smart? Do you possess an endearingly dry sense of humor? Are you generous? Successful? Do you write songs that make the angels weep? Can you whip up a mean bean dip?

What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?

Write it down. Post your list on your bathroom mirror and read it out loud every morning before you brush your teeth. Read it again after you wash your face at night.

Reinforce the self-regard you’re cultivating with a solid affirmation (a positive statement you can write, repeat, or think). Affirmations can help you override years of negative programming.

Say out loud:

"I love myself. I approve of myself. I am good enough."

Repeat it at least 25 times a day. Keep it up for at least 30 days. See what happens.

You'd be surprised how many people wander the planet thinking they're just not good enough. This faulty thinking leads them to attract—and accept— poor salaries, iffy work conditions, and bad treatment from employers, friends, and lovers. It can cause them to overcompensate for their apparent unworthiness by treating other people badly.

Have you heard people say that you can't love anyone until you love yourself? I'd like to take that one further: Nobody can love you until you love yourself.

So, affirm that you love and approve of yourself, that you are indeed "enough. " Your life—and not just your love life—will improve. It may not happen overnight, but it will happen.

This little affirmation technique may seem too simple to make a difference, but it will. It is powerful. Please do not make the mistake of underestimating it.

Repeat:

"I love myself. I approve of myself. I am good enough."

After a while, you’ll be convinced that you have plenty to offer a man. Once you’re convinced, you’ll walk into unfamiliar situations more confidently. You’ll find yourself less inclined to compare yourself to other women.

You will know that you are special.

And once you know this—once you know it in your bones—you will attract men. You will attract good, fun, irresistible men who appreciate you and treat you well. So, figure out what sets you apart. Take a journey of self-discovery.

Summon your inner gorgeousness.