Let’s face it we have all had thoughts, dreams and fantasies of kinky unconventional, atypical sexual experiences. Our weakness for the forbidden dates back to the beginning of time, yet no matter how intriguing and compelling our secret desires become, we usually hold them captive in our unconscious mind. We allow our fears, pre- programming and the prejudices of others to dictate permission to experience our ultimate sexuality. Who made the rules and banned the good stuff? Whose rules are broken if we choose to meet our sexual needs and desires through methods deemed to be outside the box?
Kink is considered abnormal sex and is often seen as profane or deviant, but kink is in the eye of the beholder. One man’s kink is boring sex to another. Most everyone has tried sex with one partner wearing a blindfold, which can hardly be considered a profane or deviant act, but is held on the list of kinky things to do. A blindfold offers the excitement and thrill of anticipation, a sensual feeling of vulnerability and lends itself to a subtle but effective power exchange. It’s erotic and provokes intense and powerful orgasms. Is it kinky or an aberrant sex practice? Actually it’s just hot, steamy fabulous sex without any evil attached.
Kink offers a higher level of sensuality, eroticism and increased arousal. The added spice allows us to visit the many different levels of altered states. The list of kink ranges from the subtle to the serious and includes such activities as masturbation (mutual or solo), bondage and restraints, spanking, role-play, BDSM activities and the use of toys and gadgets to tweak and incite the body and mind. Each adaptation provides its own set of valuable assets. Sexual experiences spiced with kink reach far beyond missionary style sex and a kiss goodnight to create a memorable sexual happening.
For many, the intense level of arousal and eroticism become addictive and provoke an obsession or fetish. Some hold oral sex as a fetish while others are obsessed with feet or breasts. Neither of which is truly kinky, rather a matter of personal preference, yet they are all placed on the list of kinky things to do. Both men and women hold nipple fetishes, as the nipple is a hot spot for both sexes. Both sexes are known to have addictions to oral sex. It’s not at all freaky or strange that something feels good and promotes an intense desire or need for more. It is simply humans responding humanly.
A turn on or personal sexual preference hardly lends itself to profanity. Normal, abnormal, right and wrong hold no bearing on what feels good to us. Abnormal and wrong would apply to those sexual experiences, which are practiced outside the rules of safe, sane and consensual sex. Forbidden sex is reserved for those under the age of 18 and has no hold on two consenting adults. So what is considered taboo by the outside world merely poses to express a personal preference and is not a statement of right and wrong. Our sexual desires are not to be left to the scrutiny of others. Why would we limit our growth potential and life experiences?
Although most of us claim to be willing to try anything once, participating in an activity that is drenched with preconceived negative ideas and anxieties, is not likely to warrant many positive results. Negative images and labels are not conducive to an open and stress free environment. Repressed anxiety creates an atmosphere of apprehension and fear, which leaves little room for eroticism.
Kink is merely a clever or unusual way of doing something, fetishes are cravings and taboos are simply the voice of someone else’s opinion. Sex is an individual and private affair just as our religion and politics. In order to enjoy it to its fullest we must give up the old beliefs and standards that get in our way. Sex is beautiful in whatever form pleases us. Bedroom heroes are made of creativity and intuition which both require a mind free of inhibitions, shame and all things which limit our potential and bind us to fear.
If it feels good, do it!
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