We should never underestimate the power of visual aids when it comes to the sexual part of our lives. One of my friends posted on Facebook that she wished that men weren't so focused on the visual, that there was so much more to us. While that's true, the bottom line is that the visual is the seed that is the beginning of anything exciting and new.
Anyone who's pursued someone online whether male or female asks with little compunction for a pic within a short period of time. While it's only a 2-D visual, it gives an idea and sometimes even a feel for what the other person is like. We all send our best pic because we know that it can mean the difference between having the opportunity to meet our person of interest or not.
I had a conversation with a male friend of mine that stated something that holds a lot of truth; While women are squirming at the first blush of intimacy and wondering if he thinks our thighs are too big, the man is usually ecstatic simply to have a completely naked woman that he's attracted to in front of him…he's not focused on her flaws, but on the visual cues that led him to where he is with her in that moment…
Small details sometimes make the difference; for men, a toe ring, a button that's open rather than closed, manicured nails, or a ponytail, can mean great visual appeal. I know one time a boyfriend showed up in a muscle shirt; he was usually in his work clothes when we met, so I didn't get to see him in casual attire often. Seeing something as common as his well muscled arms was quite frankly a huge turn on for me! It's not so much about looks as it is about the whole look, the way you project yourself, (self confidence is extremely sexy in either gender!) carry yourself, and the image you project to that other person.
It's also something that with a little imagination you can have fun with. CFM (come fuck me) shoes for instance have been around since some silly man (no doubt) came up with the idea that we would look sexy in stilts and figured out a way to strap them to our feet, teach us to walk in them, and then make them pretty so that we would actually want them. While many women had a few pairs in the past, the truth is that they haven't put a pair on their feet in years; having settled into their marriage, and having kids and a career and having a million things to do each day meant that at night she had no desire to torture herself in that way!
With the advent of my affair however, things took on a different view; I wanted once again to look and feel sexy….besides, I figured all I had to do was strut across the room in them once, right? Hahaha! So I tested the waters a little and mentioned something about them to the boyfriend…I had his immediate attention, in a BIG way! So during subsequent discussions, it was determined that I should have a pair….or two….or more, lol. So I bought a black pair….and then I got bold; forget the black, I'm a red kind of girl! I love red heels! So I bought them….and then on our next date when we had some time and privacy I threw on a short skirt, a red thong and bra, and a button down shirt…most of the way unbuttoned…
I will tell you now that this whole thing was rather daunting for me; I am 27, and while I'm attractive enough, I know that I'm certainly not perfect or 20-something anymore. But neither was he. It was more about being titillating, having fun, and feeling sexy than anything else!
We don't have to be perfect, but sometimes making small efforts and paying attention to details can have some very rewarding results. Playing dress up as an adult is more fun than it ever was before…
And in the end I was right about those shoes….I don't think that I walked more than 10 feet in them…
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