What is a Daddy's Girl?

The term “daddy’s girl” can be interpreted in three distinct ways. The first is that a father (dad, papa) and daughter enjoy a secure, tight bond. The second is that a dad provides everything for his female child, especially when it comes to finances and material items. Third, the phrase can mean that a woman is sexually involved with someone. All three interpretations have some problems and benefits. Close Father-Daughter Relationship In the most general sense, the term “daddy’s girl” usually means that a girl is extremely close to her papa. In this context, the girl prefers her dad’s company over everyone else’s. She tries both to mimic and to please him. The closeness in the relationship, coupled with the daughter’s desire to please, implies that the father has a large amount of psychological control over his female child and that he has an unspoken ownership of her. The dad usually does not intend to gain this control or for the ownership to develop. In many cases, he might not even perceive that it is central to the relationship, as he typically is extremely kind to and protective of his daughter. Reliant Daughter Some people interpret “daddy’s girl” to mean a young female who relies on her father for everything. Some of this comes from the general meaning of the phrase, as the dads of these girls can go overboard in providing for their daughters in an effort to shelter them. The connotation here is negative, because even though it shows that the papa provides, it demonstrates that the girl isn’t independent and can’t take care of herself. It also has the connotation that she is privileged or entitled, incapable of relating to or feeling empathy for those who have less. Term of Endearment or Lover A more urban way to look at “daddy’s girl” is that it is a pet name or term of endearment. People sometimes use the phrase for a woman who has a sexual connection with someone. A man might say to his lover, “You know I love you, you’re daddy’s girl,” for example. This once again harkens back to the general interpretation of the phrase, the implications being that the man will protect and care for his partner, and that the relationship is tight. This version relates strongly to the Electra complex, which is a concept in psychology. The idea behind the Electra complex is that, subconsciously, a girl is attracted sexually to her dad. This attraction generates hostility toward the mother, or more generally, to anyone that might provide sexual competition. This concept, the female counterpart to the Oedipus complex, has its roots in the ancient Athenian tragedy by Sophocles, Oedipus Rex, in which the primary character, Oedipus, unwittingly kills his father and marries his mother. Problems When a girl and her dad are overly close, codependence can develop, meaning that both people in the relationship essentially cannot function without the other. This can affect the girl or father’s sense of self. The codependence also can create problems in other relationships. A dad might have issues with any man who tries to date his daughter, for instance, because he might feel like no one is good enough for her or can provide as he can. Similarly, when a female child reaches adulthood, she might not assert herself, especially among men, because she is used to being subversive to her papa. Another issue that sometimes comes up is that, as an adult, a daddy’s girl who has been given everything might become extremely spoiled and have trouble coping during times of hardship. She might not understand the meaning of earning one’s keep, and she might acquire debt from spending beyond her own means. If her papa “cuts her off” her financially, she might take it extremely personally, seeing his choice as evidence he no longer cares about her, even if he is trying to guide her toward self-sufficiency. Some individuals who support the notion of the Electra complex and the more urban translation of “daddy’s girl” believe that the phrase promotes an unhealthy acceptance of incest, leading to sexual fantasies or behaviors that society might not view positively. Others feel the term promotes the submission of women, reducing them to sexual playthings. The concept of a woman being owned by anyone, father or not, is highly offensive to many people. Benefits A major benefit of a father doting on his female child is that she never has to doubt that someone cares about her. This can make her more confident overall. She might take an example from how her papa has treated her, demanding that any boyfriend she has gives her the kindness she honestly deserves. Sometimes a girl who has everything provided by her papa acquires a very fine sense of taste. She comes to appreciate items of high quality and good craftsmanship. This is easily applied to careers such as interior design or appraisal. These types of girls also might have a sincere desire for others to have items that are nice. Rather than looking down on others, they might work for charities or other organizations that promote more equality in society. Advocates of using “daddy’s girl” with sexual connotations point out that everyone has different sexual preferences. They assert that the phrase expresses love and that, even in a dominant-submissive or master-slave relationship, the submissive partner trusts that her partner will not hurt her. It is that trust that promotes sexual arousal and release. To prohibit the use of the phrase therefore is to deny sexual gratification and closeness to some degree.