Those That Got Away

Social media has allowed us to ‘get to know’ someone by scanning their profile for five minutes. We can quickly grasp political views, favorite bands, and writing proficiency. This is well and good for evaluating the people we meet as adults – we’re getting to know them for the first time and have low expectations to begin with. It’s the ingrained cynicism that comes along with growing up. It can be disappointing to learn that the hot guy you met at a bar is rooting for Michele Bachmann, but it’s not as soul-crushing as the realization that the girl who taught you how to double-dutch has become someone you wouldn’t meet for happy hour. Revisiting relationships that meant the world to us in our formative years is tempting, but it often affirms an idea that no one wants to fully commit to – the idea that people change – that we change. It scares us that we can feel such disdain or indifference toward someone we used to spend every waking hour with. It’s not just a testament to the other person becoming something else – it’s a testament to our own growth and development. We want to believe that we are concrete entities that are sound in our convictions and beliefs, that we’ve always been this way, and witnessing disparities where there used to be unbridled harmony can be unnerving. If you don’t lose a few people along the way, if every person you were fond of as a child is able to make a cameo appearance via Facebook, you run the risk of manipulating your memories. They’re no longer our first crush; they’re our first crush who is on his second child and first divorce. They’re no longer our middle school teacher; they’re our middle school teacher who types at an elementary school level. And these newly-minted impressions have the capacity to engulf our memories, they have the ability to burn them alive. I know my curiosity is unlikely to curb itself, but I’m glad that he’s unsearchable. If finding out what he’s up to involves combing through tagged photographs and scrutinizing status updates, if it means wanting to deny our moments and rejecting the way it felt to be in awe of someone, if it means reevaluating and weighing him against a digital composite of the man I met all those years ago, I don’t want it. I’m happy to keep my memories of him confined to a dive bar in Louisiana, where there was no virtual reality, just reality reality; a place where the light was always flattering.

Sugar Daddy Cookies

Calling all dudes! Here’s your chance to be a sugar daddy without tapping out your bank account. There’s no need to drop mortgage payments at clubs on bottle service, 10-course French dinners, or the shoe store. Instead steal their hearts and undergarments with your creativity and resourcefulness. Isn’t that why we Cook To Bang? I’m a sugar daddy that slangs sweet treats. Pass these out to one or all twelve of your sweetums. Each will be touched by your thoughtfulness and darling gesture. Who’s your daddy now, ladies? Ingredients (12 cookies) 1. 1 1/2 cups flour 2. 3/4 cups white sugar 3. 1/2 tsp baking soda 4. 1/2 tsp baking powder 5. 1 tsp vanilla extract 6. 1 egg 7. 1 stick butter @ room temperature 8. 3 strawberries Step 1 Preheat oven to 375°F/190°C. Sift together the flour, baking soda, and baking powder. Step 2 Cream together the sugar and butter. Mix in the egg and vanilla extract. Beat in the flour mixture into a sugar cookie batter. Step 3 Cut into the strawberry stems from both angles in a slight curve and slice the berries thinly to create fruity heart shapes. Grease your baking pan. Scoop out tablespoon-size cookie dough balls and lay out with enough space for them to grow. Place a strawberry slice onto each cookie. Throw in the oven and bake until the edges start to brown (approx 10 min). Remove from oven and allow to cool (approx 15 min).

What is a Daddy's Girl?

The term “daddy’s girl” can be interpreted in three distinct ways. The first is that a father (dad, papa) and daughter enjoy a secure, tight bond. The second is that a dad provides everything for his female child, especially when it comes to finances and material items. Third, the phrase can mean that a woman is sexually involved with someone. All three interpretations have some problems and benefits. Close Father-Daughter Relationship In the most general sense, the term “daddy’s girl” usually means that a girl is extremely close to her papa. In this context, the girl prefers her dad’s company over everyone else’s. She tries both to mimic and to please him. The closeness in the relationship, coupled with the daughter’s desire to please, implies that the father has a large amount of psychological control over his female child and that he has an unspoken ownership of her. The dad usually does not intend to gain this control or for the ownership to develop. In many cases, he might not even perceive that it is central to the relationship, as he typically is extremely kind to and protective of his daughter. Reliant Daughter Some people interpret “daddy’s girl” to mean a young female who relies on her father for everything. Some of this comes from the general meaning of the phrase, as the dads of these girls can go overboard in providing for their daughters in an effort to shelter them. The connotation here is negative, because even though it shows that the papa provides, it demonstrates that the girl isn’t independent and can’t take care of herself. It also has the connotation that she is privileged or entitled, incapable of relating to or feeling empathy for those who have less. Term of Endearment or Lover A more urban way to look at “daddy’s girl” is that it is a pet name or term of endearment. People sometimes use the phrase for a woman who has a sexual connection with someone. A man might say to his lover, “You know I love you, you’re daddy’s girl,” for example. This once again harkens back to the general interpretation of the phrase, the implications being that the man will protect and care for his partner, and that the relationship is tight. This version relates strongly to the Electra complex, which is a concept in psychology. The idea behind the Electra complex is that, subconsciously, a girl is attracted sexually to her dad. This attraction generates hostility toward the mother, or more generally, to anyone that might provide sexual competition. This concept, the female counterpart to the Oedipus complex, has its roots in the ancient Athenian tragedy by Sophocles, Oedipus Rex, in which the primary character, Oedipus, unwittingly kills his father and marries his mother. Problems When a girl and her dad are overly close, codependence can develop, meaning that both people in the relationship essentially cannot function without the other. This can affect the girl or father’s sense of self. The codependence also can create problems in other relationships. A dad might have issues with any man who tries to date his daughter, for instance, because he might feel like no one is good enough for her or can provide as he can. Similarly, when a female child reaches adulthood, she might not assert herself, especially among men, because she is used to being subversive to her papa. Another issue that sometimes comes up is that, as an adult, a daddy’s girl who has been given everything might become extremely spoiled and have trouble coping during times of hardship. She might not understand the meaning of earning one’s keep, and she might acquire debt from spending beyond her own means. If her papa “cuts her off” her financially, she might take it extremely personally, seeing his choice as evidence he no longer cares about her, even if he is trying to guide her toward self-sufficiency. Some individuals who support the notion of the Electra complex and the more urban translation of “daddy’s girl” believe that the phrase promotes an unhealthy acceptance of incest, leading to sexual fantasies or behaviors that society might not view positively. Others feel the term promotes the submission of women, reducing them to sexual playthings. The concept of a woman being owned by anyone, father or not, is highly offensive to many people. Benefits A major benefit of a father doting on his female child is that she never has to doubt that someone cares about her. This can make her more confident overall. She might take an example from how her papa has treated her, demanding that any boyfriend she has gives her the kindness she honestly deserves. Sometimes a girl who has everything provided by her papa acquires a very fine sense of taste. She comes to appreciate items of high quality and good craftsmanship. This is easily applied to careers such as interior design or appraisal. These types of girls also might have a sincere desire for others to have items that are nice. Rather than looking down on others, they might work for charities or other organizations that promote more equality in society. Advocates of using “daddy’s girl” with sexual connotations point out that everyone has different sexual preferences. They assert that the phrase expresses love and that, even in a dominant-submissive or master-slave relationship, the submissive partner trusts that her partner will not hurt her. It is that trust that promotes sexual arousal and release. To prohibit the use of the phrase therefore is to deny sexual gratification and closeness to some degree.

For Nice Guys Who Get Walked on By Girls

This is written for all of the nice men who never can understand why women go for the guys who seem bad and they always wonder, "Why do women dump all over me and fall at bad men's feet?"..... I hope to give you some kind of clue by the end of this article. Know from the beginning that when I say things I am about to say, I have a difficult time communicating, and that I usually sound very roughneck about these things, but there truly is love behind what I am about to tell you. In this post, I mainly have the single young man in mind, and I am going to try to keep already married men out of the equation whenever possible, as in the near future, I plan to post my own thoughts about marriages for a man's perspective, as well as another geared more towards women, but that all will come later. There will be women who may take an honest look at women as a whole who will agree with me, and there will be those who will vehemently disagree, but know that I am violating some sacred code of women (yes, I am a traitor) by revealing these secrets to you. I also will be telling you these things with the average woman in mind- there are always individuals who are exceptions to the rule, and also extreme cases to which all or some of this may not apply due to cases of horrible abuse, etc. but I have found in my own observations of other women and my own experience as a woman that these things for the most part are pretty solid. I have seen and heard time and time again since puberty "nice" guys who always seem to get crapped on by women- and most of the time, it is by women who are halfway decent. The ones who don't get crapped on usually go unnoticed by women, and that is painful for them as well. To throw salt in those wounds, the same women will fall at the feet and cater to every whim of a "bad" guy and even go an extra mile and a half for him- even married men generally can see that their women tend to have more crushes on "bad guy" personas, like in movies, music artists, etc. It is often understood that we are attracted to this for the adventure, the raciness, the taboo, etc. but I think I have a different take on it..... Men are told constantly that we women want men who are more in tune emotionally and verbal about it like we are, we want sensitivity, and so on and so on. Men have been told this and much more for so many years and this sorta goes along with the shift in our societies and cultures where women have wanted for many years to come out from under the "dominance" of men. What we now have in many instances and areas of life is seemingly equality..... yet as christians, we know that men and women are not and can never be equal- we are equal in value, but we are designed differently, intended for different roles, and when the two are brought together, perfectly compliment one another. This is something in our cultures that is not celebrated but denied- we women have come a long way, baby...... but in part we have gone a long way into denial..... and have dragged men with us. I look around and I see that a lot of men are no longer kicking and screaming as they are dragged, but the older ones hang limp with their heads down as they are dragged, and the younger ones willfully are led from a young age, now that they are growing up being "taught" by society that in our equality they are the weaker vessel and because of that are accepting of it and accomodate it. In our struggles for equality (which was not totally a horrible thing I will add, but I have many thoughts on this that are better for another thread), the impact of modern-day feminism on our cultures even our worldview, we women have wickedly hog-tied men, stepped into their roles (even spiritually), and have reduced them to nothing more than emotionally sensitive, teary-eyed, girlie men with no backbones. Even in christian marriages, churches, and relationships, it's the woman who really wears the pants..... and it is to a point where that is not funny anymore. Why women love bad guys: It is said time and time again, with the influence of modern psychology, that we are attracted to these bad guys because of many of our abused pasts, how we were raised, etc. and I won't deny these things have a huge impact. I do believe, however, that even the nicest, well-raised and balanced, "good" christian women have even slight attractions to these types of men (especially in movies) if they are honest enough to admit it. You see, we women don't like abuse, we really don't generally. But the balance that men should have is almost gone. What attracts most of us to these bad ones is simple: we say we don't, but deep down inside, we love a man that we cannot push around. You cannot push around, hog-tie, or twist the "bad" ones up like a pretzel with your every whim...... and way deep down inside, we love that! What ends up happening though, is that they are bad, and we get abused mentally or even physically. Yet we have the tendency to keep going back for more. We deny it, we whimper, whine, manipulate, and even scream that we want a nice man, but deep down inside what we want is a strong man who has a Godly balance between sensitivity (only in doses), and strength. Someone we cannot push around and walk all over- someone who deserves our respect. We want a confident man, a man who clearly has his limits, his boundaries- and someone not afraid to tell us "Nope" when he should.... and not change his mind! A protector, a provider, a shield. Someone who we cannot manipulate, a man who stands firm on his foundation, a stronger vessel...... someone worthy of respect. Oh, that is too sexy, man!!! I may fight you from time to time to make sure you are still on your toes, but you can have me for life, dude! Why women do not like nice men. As a woman who in her single days, even as a teenager, chewed up and spat out many a nice guy, I really didn't mean to! And I felt badly afterward for crushing the guys..... my mother would ream me for letting him go and for hurting him! So did my friends! (But between you and me, they were doing the same thing!). I, like so many other girls and women, could not figure out at the time why I was just not interested or attracted..... the only thing I could say was, "He's just, well......too nice." I hadn't a clue at the time, but hindsight is always 20/20. Why, r00bz? Why did you do that?! BECAUSE. Because they let me. Because I could. Even the best, nicest, "good" christian girl will do the same usually, but maybe not as blatantly. Why, you ask? Go and ask Eve! We have this desire in us, as we were created to be the "weaker" vessel, and that part of us truly does, as I said in the previous section, love that "stronger" vessel. We want that. It's in us to yearn for that, I believe! We were made for that! But we have this other thingie, too........ this thing which will always tend to want to usurp that role designated for men as the head of us. We women are craftier and more cunning creatures with many emotions, whims, ideas, and desires. We need someone to offset that in a relationship..... and if you are not solid and strong enough for that task, we may like you, but we will not truly respect you. And we will run all over you..... even in the most subtle of ways. It's in our nature. Go check out how Eve did it. Boy was that a doozy! And check out how Adam let her get to him. Go find what happened to Sampson. Interesting stuff. And every single woman on the face of the earth, as good as they want to be, has the capacity to do the same, as we are all equally human. Even christian women fall into it to a lesser more subtle degree, even though they may not want to. That temptation is always there. After you become married, your seemingly good christian home behind closed doors can easily be that your wife can reduce you to nothing more than a spiritually impotent nincompoop, unworthy of respect. What we don't like in nice men. We can't look up to you, or respect you half of the time. You are our shoulder to cry on, our friend, and you cry too much yourself! We don't really want that! That is what we have girlfriends and prayer for, silly! That is why when we meet you, we 'just wanna be friends." Forget what women have told you..... we are the emotional ones, we don't need you to be, too! We wanna see your emotions and your humanity only in doses. We don't want some dude who is like a chick. As I said, that is why we hang out with girlfriends! We don't need a dude friends who try to give us guilt trips because they are hurt. Every time we turn around they are there like a lost puppy going, 'Why do you like him, anyway? I'd give you the world, and you just wanna be friends. Blah blah blah." We can't admire or look up to that. It is almost pathetic. Quit doing that. We can't look up to someone who is always throwing himself at our mercies. We want a MAN. Do you cry at the drop of a hat? Well, DON'T. We say we wanna see that emotional side of you, but what we really mean is we want a balance- we only want that in small doses. I have been with my own husband for 7 years, and in that time, I have witnessed him breaking down and crying maybe 4 or 5 times- and 2 of those were at the births of our children. It is nice to be able to say that I have seen him in his weakest of moments, and I have seen him break down because of tragic, stressful, and even painful happenings and I was there to help him get back up...... but I am glad it has only been a handful of times. There is nothing worse that a man who cries more than I do. I am a woman with crazy hormones and raging emotions- it is my job to cry whenever I feel like it. That is what chicks do. Not dudes. Do you send a chick's girlfriends to go talk to her cuz you really wanna go out with her, and the writing is on the wall that she is not interested, or maybe she WAS halfway interested until you started bugging? This tell us you are desperate. And you think this will make us desperate for you and attracted to you how? It is only annoying and ego-building to a woman. Stop doing that. This will keep you in the category, "Men who I only want to be friends with" forever. It boils down to this: "nice" men generally tend to show hypersensitivity and chick-like emotion, they use chick guilt trip tactics, they show no ability to ever take the reigns and have control over much, they are not confident, they are weak-kneed and let women tie them in knots with ease, they are easily swayed and strung along, and easily taken advantage of. They act in many ways like chicks, although they may have very macho tendencies. As I told you before, many a nice guy I chewed up and spat out and never could realize at the time why........ but I did meet my match finally. You may have your own opinion about my marriage- it is not perfect by any means, and is not a model by which I would base everything, but one thing that attracted me to my husband was that he never let me run all over him. I was not a christian at the time, and we knew each other through friends, and I knew a lot about him by hearing things. We met at a (salsa) nightclub where we both went every friday and saturday night. He asked me to dance with him all the time and I did..... and then at the right moment when he thought he had me I purposely danced with others to drive him crazy with jealousy......only it never worked. I knew he liked me..... but unlike other men, when I would get up and do things like that, he showed no shock, no jealousy, no nothing. He acted like nothing and went over to his friends and would be having a good old time. I mean living it up! I'd be gettin down on the dance floor and look over, and he wouldn't even be looking at me. He was having his own fun...... it drove me crazy and made me really brainstorm for ideas. At this point in my life I had become a straight PLAYAH..... only it was not working suddenly. I did all sorts of stuff, played all sorts of games with him, and only rarely did I get a glimpse and see that it was working- cuz it really was not working. After a few weeks of this, he must have gotten tired of my game, because I was out on the dance floor, and he was unmoved as usual, and I saw the unthinkable: I saw him not even notice me and walk over to a girl sitting at a table and start talking to her. I had never seen him talk to a girl! I panicked..... but I didn't show it, I still had my pokerface on as did he. Luckily, the girl didn't give him the time of day...... but that was not the point! He was UNMOVED. He had asked me out on dates and I turned him down, I was playing him, making him really wanna date me BAD before I went out with him finally..... yet he remained unmoved by it. This had always been my tactic, and had never failed before..... I panicked inside and questioned what I was doing wrong. So when I saw him talking to another chick, I panicked.... and I remained at his side the rest of the night and only danced with him (latinos have this thing where if you like one you gotta only dance with him while you are there- they don't like that openness of cuttin a rug with whomever like Americans do), and I agreed to go out with him. I kept pulling little things here and there, testing the waters, seeing how much I could get away with.... and.......NOTHING. He was unmoved. If I stood him up to drive him crazy, he go have fun. He would not let me get to him at all.... and it made me panic inside that I could not pull him on a string. Every day he would want to see me or come over, and showed a lot of interest, but he was unmoved by my tactics. When I'd confront him about it to get an emotional reaction from him, he'd play dumb. I was trying to see if he cared that I'd stood him up.... and he played dumb every time and acted like it was no biggie, that he had other things to do and had a blast doing them. He had such a good pokerface at the time, that I had no idea it made him furious inside when I played games and he was insane with jealousy- but he knew my game and wasn't going to let me get by with it. He showed self-confidence, a strength, someone who was unmoved by emotion and manipulation, someone who had a life that did not revolve around me and my every silly whim.... yet he still showed me that he was interested, I still saw a glimpse of that, it was a motivator, so as not to frustrate me. This went on for a few months..... and he came over almost every day, we would sit around and talk until 4 am. I dug stuff out of him, serious issues, like memories from childhood, secrets, stuff like that. Chicks like those kinds of talks...... but the key is, I dug it out of him. And he let me dig it out, he didn't offer it up. I enjoyed digging it out...... and he enjoyed letting me think I was really the one doing it. What it was, was that he was not pouring his heart out,opening himself up and offering himself up on a platter like a chick. He let me have it and see it in small doses...... all in moderation, guys. He never nagged, whined, cried, or anything that nice guys do......at the same time, he never turned it around on me and played me right back..... but he put a halt in my game every time and had one insanely good pokerface. I eventually began to (all unconsciously of course) decide I better begin to start respecting him as a man........... or he might very well be gone ad for some reason, I would be sorry. Now you can look at what we have been through in these 7 years and not be envious..... we have had serious problems at times. But I cannot deny that what I have just described to you was the right thing to do if he wanted to be with me and didn't want to get stepped on. I was a true playah playah, and he beat my game by seeming to not play it. As I said, I was a player at the time, but even the bestest, nicest, goody-two-shoes girl has the tendency to want to mess with a dude's head. Most of the time we don't even realize we are doing it..... so I gave you myself as an extreme example. But you know what I am talking about- you nice guys get mixed signals all the time. So take what I have said and think about it..... and learn what your role is in life with regards to women. It is given to you by God, and He can help you balance it out so as not to be abusive, and not to be a doormat that a woman can wipe her feet on. Go read about women and men in the bible..... check out how Jezebel used subtle woman tactics to turn her man into a spiritual wimp. What we really need is a strong man who will one day lead us and our families, not a man we can manipulate, walk on, and crush. Be the solid, man of strength that God intended for you to be. I promise you...... it will drive the honeys crazy!

Angel of my Tears

How do you love a person
who never got to be,
or try to envision a face
you never got to see?
How do you mourn the death of one
who never got to live?
When there's nothing to feel good about
and nothing to forgive?
I love you, my little baby,
my companion of the night.
Wandering through my lonely hours,
beautiful and bright.
What does it mean to die before
you ever were born,
to live the lovely night of life
and never see the dawn?
Ah! My little baby,
you lived like anyone!
Life's a burst of joy and pain.
And then like yours, it's done.
I love you, my little baby,
just as if you'd lived for years.
No more, no less, I think of you,
the Angel of my tears.

Chinese Pot Stickers

Ingredients

1/2 pound ground pork
1/2 medium head cabbage, finely chopped
1 green onion, finely chopped
2 slices fresh ginger root, finely chopped
2 water chestnuts, drained and finely chopped
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon white sugar
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 (14 ounce) package wonton wrappers
5 tablespoons vegetable oil
3/4 cup water
1 tablespoon chili oil
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon rice vinegar
Directions

Crumble pork into a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Drain and set aside.
In a medium bowl, mix together the pork, cabbage, green onion, ginger, water chestnuts, salt, sugar and sesame oil. Chill in the refrigerator 6 to 8 hours, or overnight.
Place a tablespoon of the pork mixture into each of the wonton wrappers. Fold the wrappers, and seal the edges with a moistened fork.
In a large, deep skillet, heat 3 tablespoons vegetable oil over medium high heat. Place the pot stickers into the oil seam sides up. Heat 30 seconds to a minute. Pour water into the skillet. Gently boil 7 to 8 minutes, until oil and water begins to sizzle, then add remaining oil. When the bottoms begin to brown, remove pot stickers from heat.
In a small serving bowl, mix together the chili oil, soy sauce, and vinegar, adjusting proportions to taste.

Maternity Fashion Crisis

Caution! Fashion emergency ahead! You're about to enter a dreaded between-time of dressing for pregnancy: You're too big for your own clothes but not ready for maternity clothes. During the next few weeks, you may find yourself staring into your closet and scratching your head, wondering what to wear. That's no problem when you're hanging around at home in sweatpants and a T-shirt, but if you need to look good for work or social events, you'll have to find something else to wear.
Don't worry, this crisis won't last long. Before you know it, you'll be all decked out in maternity clothes. Until then consider these smart, transitional outfit ideas:
Buy a pair of pants and a skirt in the next size up. If you're a size 10, buy a 12. Because you'll be living in these clothes for a couple of weeks, choose a neutral color. That way you'll draw less attention to the fact that you're wearing the same skirt or slacks every day.
Wear loose tops that don't require tucking and sweaters that come to the hip. Draw attention away from your belly with a colorful scarf or trendy new necklace.
Dress in layers. Many women find that they feel warmer than usual during pregnancy. If you wear layers, you'll be able to peel off some of your clothing to cool yourself down.
Raid your partner's closet. He may have a shirt or sweater that's perfect for your new figure.
If you have to wear a skirt or dress, buy some maternity pantyhose. The tops are stretchy and will fit throughout your pregnancy.
Leave the belts in your closet. They'll squeeze your belly, and if you wear them with tucked-in tops, you'll draw attention to your thickening waistline.
Top off your outfit with a figure-hiding blazer or jacket.
Invest in a good pair of flat shoes. This is no time to be tottering around on high heels. Buy only a pair or two at this point because your feet may grow larger during your pregnancy.

News

I hope you are sitting down. If you aren't, then you should do so now. I know this is the kind of thing a person should say face to face, but I couldn't wait. Also, I was afraid I would get nervous and end up stumbling through my words.

So, here goes. We're having a baby!!! Yes, you read it correctly, a BABY. I didn't want to tell you until I was sure, and now I'm sure. You are going to be a daddy. Yeah! You may have already guessed by the way I have been floating in mid air these past few days. I am so happy. You have made me so happy.

Before we get carried away with doctors visits, nurseries, names, and all of the other overwhelming stuff, I wanted to thank you. Thank you for this special gift. You have made my dreams come true. You are going to be such a good father and I know your child will love you as much as I do. You are such a special man and I am blessed to have you as my future husband..

Congratulations, Daddy.

Elbows & Ground Beef

Ingredients

1 1/2 pounds lean ground beef
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 onion, chopped
2 (29 ounce) cans tomato sauce
1 (16 ounce) package macaroni
Directions

Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain.
In a Dutch oven, brown ground beef over medium heat. Add chopped onion, and cook until onion is soft. Add green pepper and tomato sauce; cook until pepper is soft.
Serve sauce over pasta.

Buffalo Tilapia

Ingredients:
1 tilapia filet
1 tsp buffalo sauce
1 tsp corn meal
1 TBSP panko bread crumbs
cooking spray

Directions:
Spread the sauce over top side of the tilapia with a pastry brush. Sprinkle with half of the corn meal and half of the panko. Flip over and repeat with the other half.

Spray a baking sheet with cooking spray, place tilapia filets spread apart and spray the tops with cooking spray.

Bake in a 400 degree oven until browned, about 20-25 minutes.

Beef & Onion Cheese Ball

Ingredients
Serves: 24
3 - 8 ounce packages of cream cheese, softened(reduced fat is fine)
1.5 teaspoons garlic powder (not garlic salt!)
1.5 teaspoons Accent(R) Seasoning
3 green onions, sliced finely or chopped.
1 jar dried beef, chopped and rinsed to remove salt.
Preparation method
Prep: 2 hours 15 mins
1.
Mix cream cheese, garlic powder, accent, green onions and 1/2 of the chopped beef. Form into one or two cheese balls. Roll in remaining dried beef to coat. Refrigerate at least 2 hours before serving.

The Long Goodbye

Nothing prepared me for the loss of my mother. Even knowing that she would die did not prepare me. A mother, after all, is your entry into the world. She is the shell in which you divide & become a life. Waking up in a world without her is like waking up in a world without sky: unimaginable. And because my mother was relatively young -64- I feel robbed of 20 years with her I'd always imagined having.
In the months that followed my mother's death, I managed to look like a normal person. But I was not ok. I was in grief. Nothing seemed important. Daily tasks were exhausting. At one point, I did not wash my hair for 10 days. I felt that I had abruptly arrived at a terrible, insistent truth about the impermanence of the everyday. Why had I not known that this was what life really amounted to?
I was not entirely surprised to find that being a mourner was lonely. But I was surprised to discover that I felt lost. In the days following my mother's death, I did not know what I was supposed to do, nor, it seemed, did my friends & family, especially those who had never suffered a similar loss. And I found no relief in that worn-out refrain that at least my mother was "no longer suffering".
Mainly, I thought one thing: My mother is dead & I want her back.
When we talk about love, we go back to the start. But this is the story of an ending, of death, & it has no beginning. That's what makes her a mother: you cannot start the story.
There is my mother, & then, suddenly, there is her cancer. It begins with a phone call, a scan, a shock. Disbelief reigns. There would be no surgery. The disease had spread too far.
If the condition of grief is nearly universal, it's transactions are exquisitely personal. My grief, I know, has been shaped by the particular person my mother was to me, and by the fact that she died at 64 (the same age my father was when he died). Then, too, I was bound up with her in ways that strecthed beyond our relationship. I now live in the house where I grew up. I always see things that remind me of her.
As I write this, I am hit by a feeling of error, a sense that during my early twenties, when I thought my mother never quiter understood me, it was I who saw her incompletely. I took for granted so many of her seemingly casual qualities.
So much of dealing with a disease is waiting. Except in the waiting you keep forgetting that "it" will really happen - it's more like a threat, an anxiety. Other people got used to my mother dying of cancer. But I did not. Each day, sunlight came like a knife to a wound that was not healed.
Those were strange, delirious days.They'd give her morphine for the pain, but the moment they got it under control, it would intensify, & she'd begin moaning again. When she did wake she was irritable. I kept asking the nurses to give her more morphine. And the nurse said "If she's in hospice, they'll give her more drugs, they'll minimize her pain, but she might die."
I heard a lot about the idea of dying "with dignity" while my mother was sick. It was only near her very end that I gave much thought to what this idea meant. I didn't actually feel it was undignified for my mother's body to fail - that was the human condition. Having to help my mother on & off the toilet was difficult, but it was natural. The real indignity, it seemed, was dying where no one cared for you the way your family should, dying where it was hard for your family to be with you & where excessive measures might be taken to keep you alive past a moment that called for letting go. I didn't want that for my mother. I didn't want to pretend she wasn't going to die.
"Hey baby!"
These are the last words I hear her say. Then she closes her eyes again. Instead of words there comes a horrible pain - pain of a kind I have never witnessed, a shuddering, bone-deep pain that swallows her up whenever the hospice nurse moves her or washes her or when we roll her on her side to change her & get her blood circulating.
In the last few days, she begins to look very young. Her face has lost so much weight, the bones show through like a child's. I hold her hand. I smooth her face. Her skin has begun to feel waxy; my fingers slide dully over it.
As she dies, she opens her eyes, looks at us, & takes one final rattling breath. She has chosen to look at us, to say "Goodbye, I love you, goodbye".
I think she had the most beautiful smile in the world. And she was very warm to lie next to, soft, like a blanket.
And so we sat with my mother's body, holding her hands. I kept touching her face, which was rubbery but still hers, feeling morbid as I did it, but feeling, too, that it was strange that I should think so. This was my mother. For 20 minutes she was warm & she didn't look dead. She didn't look alive either. But she didn't have the glazed, absent expression I had expected. Her being seemed present. I could feel it hovering at the ceiling of the room, changing, but not gone. In a daze, I said goodbye. I kissed my mother's forehaed - waxy, the way it had been for days now. I said, "You were very brave, & I love you".
What had actually happened still seemed implausible: A person was present your entire life, & then one day she disappeared & never came back. It resisted belief. Even when a death is foreseen, I was surprised to find, it still feels sudden - an instant that could have gone differently.
A death from a long illness is different from a sudden death. I have experienced both of those with each of my parents. It gives you time to say goodbye & time to adjust to the idea that the beloved will not be with you anymore. A friend said that my mother's death had surely been easier to bear because I had known it was coming. I almost bit her head off! Easier to bear compared to what?
It is human to want our friends & family to recover from pain, to look for a silver lining - or so I reminded myself. But when people stop mentioning the dead person's name to you, the silence can seem worse than the pain of hearing those familiar, beloved syllables. After a loss, you have to learn to believe the dead one is dead. It doesn't come naturally.
In the weeks after my mother's death, I experienced an acute nostalgia. This longing for a lost time was so intense I thought it might split me in two. I was consukmed by memories of seemingly trivial things.
She is gone, & I will be, too, one day. There is nothing "fixed" about my grief. I don't have the same sense that I'm sinking into the ground with every step I take. But there aren't any "conclusions" I can come to, other than personal ones. I'm more at peace because that old false sense of the continuity of life has returned.
I think about my mother every day, but not as concertedly as I used to. She crosses my mind like a spring cardinal that flies past the edge of your eye. I think about all the things I never said along the way, about how much her example meant to me. The bond between a mother & a child is so unlike any other that it is categorically irreplaceable.

Chicken Creole

Ingredients

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 onion, thinly sliced
1 stalk celery, sliced thin
1 green bell pepper, minced
2 (16 ounce) cans diced tomatoes
1 bay leaf
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
In a large skillet, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the garlic, onion, celery and bell pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until tender (about 4 minutes). Add the tomatoes, bay leaf, salt and cayenne pepper. Cook this Creole sauce 3 minutes longer, stirring often.
Arrange the chicken breasts in an 8 x 11 inch baking dish. Pour the Creole sauce over the chicken.
Bake 15 to 20 minutes, until the chicken is tender and white throughout.

Deviled Crab

Ingredients

1 3/4 pounds crabmeat
1/8 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
3/4 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
1 cup dry bread crumbs
4 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 tablespoon butter
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 cups clam juice
1/2 cup white wine
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup fresh parsley, minced
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh basil, minced
Directions

In a mixing bowl, place the crabmeat, salt, Worcestershire sauce, and hot pepper sauce. Mix thoroughly.
Shape the crab mixture into cakes and roll in bread crumbs.
In a medium skillet, heat 4 tablespoons of oil over medium heat. Saute the cakes about 5 minutes. Turn, then cook for another 5 minutes or until golden brown.
For the sauce: In a 1.5 quart saucepan, heat the 1 tablespoon of oil and 1 tablespoon of butter. slowly add the flour to the oil, stirring constantly. Cook for 5 minutes.
Slowly add the clam juice, whisking constantly and vigorously. Pour in white wine, black pepper, and crushed red pepper flakes. Bring to a simmer. Then add cream, parsley, and basil. Simmer, but do not boil. Mixture is done when thick enough to evenly coat the back of a spoon.
Serve the sauce over the crab cakes.

Chicken Milano

Ingredients

1 tablespoon butter
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup sun-dried tomatoes, chopped
1 cup chicken broth, divided
1 cup heavy cream
1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
salt and pepper to taste
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil
8 ounces dry fettuccini pasta
Directions

In a large saucepan over low heat, melt butter; add garlic and cook for 30 seconds. Add the tomatoes and 3/4 cup of the chicken broth; increase to medium heat and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, for about 10 minutes or until the tomatoes are tender. Add the cream and bring to a boil; stirring. Simmer over medium heat until the sauce is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.
Sprinkle the chicken with salt and pepper on both sides. In a large skillet over medium heat, warm oil and saute chicken. Press on chicken occasionally with a slotted spatula. Cook for about 4 minutes per side or until the meat feels springy and is no longer pink inside. Transfer to a board; cover and keep warm. Discard the fat from the skillet.
In the same skillet, over medium heat, bring 1/4 cup chicken broth to a boil; stirring the pan juices. Reduce slightly and add to the cream sauce; stir in basil and adjust seasonings to taste.
Meanwhile, bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add fettuccine and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain, transfer to a bowl and toss with 3 to 4 tablespoons of the sauce.
Cut each chicken breast into 2 to 3 diagonal slices. Reheat the sauce gently if needed. Transfer the pasta to serving plates; top with chicken and coat with the cream sauce; serve.

Iced Pumpkin Cookies

Ingredients

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1 cup canned pumpkin puree
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 cups confectioners' sugar
3 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon melted butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, ground cloves, and salt; set aside.
In a medium bowl, cream together the 1/2 cup of butter and white sugar. Add pumpkin, egg, and 1 teaspoon vanilla to butter mixture, and beat until creamy. Mix in dry ingredients. Drop on cookie sheet by tablespoonfuls; flatten slightly.
Bake for 15 to 20 minutes in the preheated oven. Cool cookies, then drizzle glaze with fork.
To Make Glaze: Combine confectioners' sugar, milk, 1 tablespoon melted butter, and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Add milk as needed, to achieve drizzling consistency.

Catfish Tuscany

Ingredients

4 (4 ounce) fillets catfish
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
2 tablespoons butter, softened
1 1/2 tablespoons mayonnaise
4 roma tomatoes or sun-dried tomatoes, sliced thin
Directions

Preheat broiler to 500 degrees. Coat a broiling pan with nonstick cooking spray. Brush both sides of fillets with lemon juice, and then sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place fillets flat side up on prepared pan.
In a small bowl, mix Parmesan cheese, butter, and mayonnaise.
Broil fish about 4 inches from heat for 6 minutes. Remove pan from oven, and turn fillets over. Spread the cheese mixture evenly over each fillet. Top with tomato slices. Broil an additional 4 to 6 minutes, or until fish flakes easily with a fork.

Bacon Wrapped Bratwurst

Ingredients

4 bratwurst
3 (12 ounce) cans light beer
5 tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
6 slices bacon, cut in half
Directions

Poke bratwurst several times with a small fork, and place into a saucepan with the beer. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce heat to medium, and simmer for 15 minutes. Remove the bratwurst from the beer, and allow to cool to room temperature.
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C). Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil, and place a wire rack on top.
Toss the brown sugar and cayenne pepper together in a large bowl and set aside. Cut each bratwurst into three pieces, wrap each piece with half strip of bacon, and secure with a toothpick. Toss the bratwurst with the cayenne mixture to coat, then place onto the prepared baking sheet.
Bake in preheated oven until the bacon is brown and crisp, 25 to 35 minutes.

Sad Day

Today is a very sad day for me. My beloved chihuahua MiaBella Olivia passed away in my arms. She had severe kidney failure & we did all we could. I am lost without her.

Dogs In Heaven?

An old man and his dog were walking down this dirt road with fences on both sides, they came to a gate in the fence and looked in, it was nice grassy, woody areas, just what a 'huntin' dog and man would like, but, it had a sign saying 'no trespassing' so they walked on. They came to a beautiful gate with a person in white robes standing there. "Welcome to Heaven" he said. The old man was happy and started in with his dog following him. The gatekeeper stopped him. "Dogs aren't allowed, I'm sorry but he can't come with you."

"What kind of Heaven won't allow dogs? If he can't come in, then I will stay out with him. He's been my faithful companion all his life, I can't desert him now."

"Suit yourself, but I have to warn you, the Devil's on this road and he'll try to sweet talk you into his area, he'll promise you anything, but the dog can't go there either. If you won't leave the dog, you'll spend Eternity on this road."

So the old man and dog went on. They came to a rundown fence with a gap in it, no gate, just a hole. Another old man was inside. "S'cuse me Sir, my dog and I are getting mighty tired, mind if we come in and sit in the shade for awhile?"

"Of course, there's some cold water under that tree over there. Make yourselves comfortable"

"You're sure my dog can come in? The man down the road said dogs weren't allowed anywhere."

"Would you come in if you had to leave the dog?"

"No sir, that's why I didn't go to Heaven, he said the dog couldn't come in.
We'll be spending Eternity on this road, and a glass of cold water and some shade would be mighty fine right about now. But, I won't come in if my buddy here can't come too, and that's final."

The man smiled a big smile and said "Welcome to Heaven."

"You mean this is Heaven? Dogs ARE allowed? How come that fellow down the road said they weren't?"

"That was the Devil and he gets all the people who are willing to give up a life long companion for a comfortable place to stay. They soon find out their mistake, but then it's too late. The dogs come here, the fickle people stay there. GOD wouldn't allow dogs to be banned from Heaven. After all, HE created them to be man's companions in life, why would he separate them in death?"

Cajun Chicken Skillet

Ingredients

1 teaspoon oil
1/2 onion, chopped
1/2 red bell pepper, chopped
1/2 green bell pepper, chopped
1/2 zucchini, sliced into rounds
1 teaspoon finely chopped green chile peppers
1 tablespoon butter
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
black pepper to taste
cayenne pepper to taste
crushed red pepper flakes to taste
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite-size pieces
1 tablespoon minced garlic
Directions

Heat oil in a large heavy skillet over medium heat. Saute onion, garlic, red bell pepper, green bell pepper, zucchini, and green chiles until the onion is tender. Remove vegetables from skillet, and set aside.
Melt the butter in the same skillet on medium heat, being careful not to burn. Stir in flour until combined, then stir in salt and pepper. Cook flour mixture until brown, 3 to 5 minutes; stir continuously. DO NOT ALLOW THIS MIXTURE TO BURN.
Stir in more garlic. Increase heat to medium high. Season with red cayenne pepper and crushed red pepper flakes. Stir in vegetables. If gravy is too thick, stir in warm water. Reduce heat to low.
Heat a separate large heavy skillet over medium high heat. Saute chicken until chicken is no longer pink, and juices run clear. Stir into vegetable mixture. Simmer for 35 minutes.