Mustard Onion Pork Chops

Ingredients

4 boneless pork loin chops, butterflied
1/2 cup prepared yellow mustard, or to taste
1 cup canned French fried onions
Directions

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
Place the pork chops in a shallow baking dish. Pour mustard over them, and turn to coat. Sprinkle fried onions over the top. Cover with aluminum foil.
Bake for 20 minutes in the preheated oven, or until pork chops are cooked through.

Words

I just love you.

Words demand explanation. They require analysis. They are the construction and expression of my thoughts. Of my heart. But they can't describe it. They can't describe any of it. They can't tell you how deep the memories are, or how often I think of them. They can't scream what I really want to say. They are the mask of how I really feel and they try to disguise the pain, but someone will strip it away. And someone will make those words worthless.

So what is a word worth? Nothing. What are three words worth? Nothing. But we say them anyway, because you know. You know, more than anyone what they mean. You know when I say I love you, I really mean that those three words can't describe what it is we have. When I say you're amazing, I know the word is just a cover; a quick way for me to remember all the things that amaze me about you, a mask for the memories we share, a disguised version of our adventures together. And I really believe that you know, when I say I miss you, it's not just that. I miss you every moment, and I miss just what your name means to me. It means an alphabet of sounds and letters and words. But none of them really mean anything, because words are based on trust, they rely on how truly and deeply we feel. Remember, always, that they don't mean anything, they are letters and they are constructions, but we deconstruct them every day and we twist them; we manipulate them so that they say what we want them to. But no word, no shape, no photograph could ever twist so far that it could begin to explain even a little bit of how I feel.

Wouldn't Trade it for the World

Relationships come with a lot of tribulations. We fight, we yell, we get jealous, we cry, we feel pain, we hurt, we scream, we get frustrated, we get angry, we get upset, we break up and our emotions take us over. So why do we do it? Why would we want to feel not just sad, but truly hurt, sad to the point where your whole body hurts just because of one person, sad to the point where you feel empty when everything falls apart, sad to the point where your heart aches for the company of that being? I’ll tell you why I do it. Its because besides all those moments when your stupidity gets in the way of what you are truly feeling and you “fight”, the moments when you are truly loving someone are the most touching, astounding, magnificent moments you will ever experience. When two people are just loving each other its magical. And to those of you who are too scared of getting hurt and too scared of the baggage that comes with relationships, let me tell you this, having someone you love and having them love you back is a feeling that you can not substitute. Having someone look at you with such a deep emotion is remarkable. Having someone touch you with so much care brings a feeling of weightlessness throughout your whole body. Having someone whisper they love you feels like they screamed it. Having someone to hold your hand at all times just feels special. Having someone to be your best friend and be loyal to you and never lie to you feels so safe. So yeah, relationships suck, breaking up hurts, but having that someone that you feel so comfortable with, someone that you let inside your soul, someone that lets you inside theirs, someone to talk to at all hours during the day, someone to laugh with, someone to fall asleep with, having someone that is your other half for whatever amount of time you are together, is true beauty and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Hope

Even when life gives you every reason to give up, remind yourself of the reasons you're still standing.. Yes, sometimes it's hard to stand up for someone who doesn't love you back.. But love is blind. Love is unconditional.. Actually, what is love? It's not something we feel in our heart or something we contemplate or try to understand in our brains.. It's the energy between two people.. That's love. Love is food! Love is family.. Love is friendship.. And that's what we need to stand up for.. We sit and complain about how life isn't fair and how we might never find love.. But we forget the most important thing: Everything turns out okay in the end.. If it's not okay, it's not the end. So what if the love of your life won't talk to you? So what? You can cry and you can worry but that won't make him see you for YOU. You are your best when you are HAPPY. Forget about them.. Forget and live to the fullest.. Find something you LOVE. And when they realize what they've lost, they'll come back... DON'T play "hard to get" unless you know deep down you really don't want them anymore. If they come back, accept them.. or forever regret what could have been..

If you are afraid of showing someone how you feel, don't be.. Honestly, what's the worst that could happen? We are still at the beginning of our lives, there is so much more for us to live for! Life goes on.. Don't let fear hold you back and keep HOPING. Hope got me through the roughest times of my life.. And it will get me through all the others that are bound to come my way.. Don't be a coward, either.. Fear is merely a feeling, cowardice is a choice of action. Be the best you can be, and don't do things you might be ashamed of to live life with no regrets.

Cliche'

We are so cliche'. We finish each other's sentences, sometimes I think you're a mind reader.

I cannot count the times in a day we say the words "I love you" yet this countless amount never seems like it's enough. I love you infinity past beyond, because this love really does transcend this universe. Your love for me makes me grow childish- a feeling more amazing than could be described- for while everyone is busy trying to grow up and move on, you bring out the joyful youth in me. You've reminded me what being happy is and have shown me that I've been missing out on happiness for far too long. The first time you told me how you felt - that you loved me - my heart seemed to melt and overflow my ribcage. This was a feeling like no other. People say they get butterflies around "that" someone, that they feel all warm and fuzzy inside and that their heart just melts as it is overcome by such a strong and pure emotion. I doubted that possibility, laughed a bit at how cliche' it seemed. I mean of course I'd fantasized about the possibility, but I never thought I could feel that way so literally. When we first started talking, you promised you'd never fall for me or see me as anything more than a friend because I was frustrated with the guys in my life who couldn't just be my friend. I thought I just needed a friend. But what I needed was you.

And darling, we are the best promise you could ever break.

We are so cliche'. We fawn over each other, constantly declaring our love and proclaiming every possible reason why our love is the perfect love. We'd get so deep into these conversations of outpouring affection but then try and pull ourselves out, for fear of being too cliche'. Like today, when you said we were "losers and oh so cheesy". I told you that "honey, cheesy is what it's called by the people that don't get to experience it. And as far as I'm concerned, as long as it's real then I love it and shall not frown down with 'cheesiness nonappreciation'" . You said "that's probably the most sensical thing i've ever heard". I smiled.

Because that's what I do when I see you, or hear you or read something you write. I smile. You always give me that instasmile. You are the sunshine in my life when I'm a stormy cloud, so together we create a rainbow. And that will never make us cheesy.

I love you, my rainbow sunshine.

Soul Mates

Do you believe in soul mates?
I didn't. I used to think that I would never find the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with in this little town.
I thought I would have to leave and start over new somewhere else to start my life...I thought I would have to leave if I was to ever find my true love.
So I did. ANd then he came along... and it's like everything I ever knew changed. Everything I ever wished for, hoped for, wanted to do... changed.
Because of him. Because I knew that no matter what, he was the guy I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
We have taken a little while to get to know each other, even though we both practically felt like we knew each other inside out from the first moment we said "Hello."
What we found out though, was that we really were perfect for each other. Where he was speechless, I was there to say what he couldn't. Where I was sad and had shut down, he was there to make everything better again and to put that smile he loves to see on my face..
We had weird moments that I could only laugh about with him.... our own little private jokes that we will never forget about. Everything was perfect...he was even into the same taste of weird music as i was into. Because of all this and more, I knew he would be the one.
He got a new job. It keeps him busy, so it's not like he's out there doing things that could potentially break my heart..... but all this separation is killing me. I'm proud of him for trying to make our life better, and I wouldn't tell him to give any of it up. But I do wish I would see him more... I wish there were more hours in the day, more days in the week, just so I could spend a little bit more time with him...
This separation will be good for us in the long run. It will be a test of our love... So far we have had a wonderful 8 months together, and he has become my lover, my partner, my best friend..
I know that we will get through whatever obstacles we come across because I love him and he loves me..
So do you believe in soul mates? Because I do.

Not Going Anywhere

So I'm 28 and I've found true, pure, honest love. I'm going to do my best to keep it. He means more to me than sleep, and I LOVE sleep. He's the only man I've ever been able to picture myself marrying. We agree on most important things, and we balance each other well. He helps me be goofy and happy while I help him get down to business. We also know how to maintain friends while being in a relationship. If I were to give someone advice about love without having them ask me a specific question, I'd tell them to make sure that you can find the right balance, not just with each other but with the rest of the world. You have to keep other people around because you don't want to be left alone if something goes wrong. Also, age doesn't matter. You can find love no matter how old you are. It may not be the same kind of love that someone else finds, but you can certainly have your own. And when you do find it, hold on to it. It's the best feeling you'll ever have. If it's taken away, remember that you can find joy again. Very few people marry their first love, and I certainly am be one of those few, but I think 3rd love is just right for me.

I love you Michael, and I'm not going anywhere.

Ladyfinger Cheesecake

Ingredients

3 (3 ounce) packages ladyfingers
2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
1 (3 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup white sugar
1 pint heavy whipping cream
1 (21 ounce) can cherry pie filling

Directions

Place ladyfingers on the bottom and around the edge of a 9 inch springform pan.
In a medium bowl, whip cream until peaks form.
In a large bowl, beat together the cream cheese, sugar and vanilla until smooth. Gently fold in the whipped cream.
Spoon 1/2 of cream cheese mixture into springform pan; cover with a layer of lady fingers and add remaining cream cheese mixture.
Layer remaining ladyfingers and top with fruit pie filling. Chill before serving.

Lettuce Wraps

Ingredients

4 cups water
2 cups uncooked white rice
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 pound ground pork
1 bunch green onions, thinly sliced
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
1 (14 ounce) package firm tofu, drained and cubed
2 carrots, shredded
3 tablespoons hoisin sauce
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1/4 teaspoon hot chile paste
1 head iceberg lettuce leaves, separated

Directions

In a saucepan combine the water and rice. Bring to a boil, cover, and reduce heat to a simmer. Simmer for 20 minutes, until water is absorbed. Set aside and keep warm.
Heat oil in a wok over medium-high heat. Cook the pork, green onions, and garlic for 5 to 7 minutes, or until lightly brown. Add the tofu, carrot, Hoisin, and soy sauce, stirring frequently until heated through. Remove from heat, and stir in the sesame oil and chile paste.
To serve: spoon a small amount of rice into each lettuce leaf, top with the stir-fry mixture, and drizzle with additional soy sauce or hoisin, if desired. Wrap the lettuce leaf to enclose the filling.

White Chocolate Cranberry Cake

6 squares white chocolate for baking
2 sticks of butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
4 eggs
3 T orange zest (CONFESSION: I skip this and add just a dash more orange juice with pulp, since zesting has never really worked for me)
3 T orange juice
2 c flour
2 t baking powder
1-1/2 c fresh or frozen cranberries

Chop the chocolate. Beat together butter, brown sugar, and sugar until fluffy. Add the eggs, orange juice and zest, and mix well. Add the flour and baking powder, then stir in the chocolate and cranberries. Bake in a bundt pan at 350 for 1 hour.

Glaze:
Melt together 3 squares of white chocolate and 2T of orange juice over low heat. stir, drizzle over cake, and enjoy. It's best if you wait until the cake is COMPLETELY cool.

8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage

You're smart. You know life is no storybook. But admit it: Somewhere deep in your subconscious lurk romantic visions of Cinderella, or maybe Julia Roberts. The images may be sketchy and a little outdated, but you can still make out the silhouette of the bride and Prince Charming riding off into the sunset.
In real life, sometimes your Disney fairy tale ends up feeling more like a Wes Craven horror flick — and you're the chick who keeps falling down and screaming for her life. I've been there. Let's face it, marriage is not for the faint of heart. You want to believe your pure love for each other will pull you through. And it does. But it ain't always pretty.
That may sound grim. But here's a secret: Sometimes it's the least romantic parts of marriage that have the most to teach you about yourself, your partner, and the nature of love.
1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?
When you get married, you think that as long as you pick the right guy — your soul mate — you'll be happy together until death do you part. Then you wake up one day and realize that no matter how great he is, he doesn't make you happy every moment of every day. In fact, some days you might wonder why you were in such a hurry to get married in the first place. You think to yourself, This is so not what I signed up for.
Actually, it is. You just didn't realize it the day you and your guy were cramming wedding cake into each other's faces, clinking champagne glasses, and dancing the Electric Slide. Back then you had no idea that "for better and for worse" doesn't kick in only when life hands you a tragedy. Your relationship mettle is, in fact, most tested on a daily basis, when the utter sameness of day-in/day-out togetherness can sometimes make you want to run for the hills. That's when the disappointment sneaks in, and maybe even a palpable sense of loneliness and grief. It's not him. It's just you, letting go of that sugarcoated fantasy of marriage that danced in your eyes the day you and your beloved posed in all those soft-focus wedding photos. You're learning that marriage isn't a destination; it's a journey filled with equal parts excitement and tedium.
Waking up from a good dream to face the harsh morning daylight may not seem like a reason to celebrate. But trust me, it is. Because once you let go of all the hokey stories of eternal bliss, you find that the reality of marriage is far richer and more rewarding than you ever could have guessed. Hard, yes. Frustrating, yes. But full of its own powerful, quiet enchantments just the same, and that's better than any fairy tale.
2. You'll work harder than you ever imagined.
Early on, when people say, "Marriage takes work," you assume "work" means being patient when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. In your naiveté, you think that you will struggle to accommodate some annoying habit, like persistent knuckle cracking or flatulence.
If only it were that easy. Human beings, you may have noticed, are not simple creatures. Your man has mysterious, unplumbed depths — and from where he sits, you're pretty complicated, too. You have to learn each other the same way that you once learned earth science or world geography. And getting married doesn't mean you're done — it just means you've advanced to graduate-level studies. That's because every time you think you've mastered the material, he'll change a bit. And so will you. As two people grow and evolve, the real work of marriage is finding a way to relate to and nurture each other in the process.
It's like losing weight. You want it to be a one-time deal. You lost it, now just live. But then you learn it's a lifestyle. That's marriage. The effort is a forever thing. So don't be too hard on yourself — or him — on those days when you feel like you're struggling through remedial math.
3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).
Whoever decided to tell newlyweds "Never go to bed angry" doesn't know what it's like inside a bedroom where tears and accusations fly as one spouse talks the other into a woozy stupor until night meets the dawn. If this scenario sounds familiar, I've got three words for you: Sleep on it.
You need to calm down. You need to gain perspective. You need to just give it a rest. I've found that an argument of any quality, like a fine wine, needs to breathe. A break in the action will help you figure out whether you're angry, hurt, or both, and then pinpoint the exact source. Maybe the fight that seemed to erupt over the overflowing garbage can is really about feeling underappreciated. Could be you're both stressed out at work and just needed to unload on someone. Taking a break will help you see that, and let go. Or maybe you really do have a legitimate disagreement to work out. Without a time-out, sometimes a perfectly good argument can turn into an endless round of silly back-and-forth, rehashing old and irrelevant transgressions as you get more and more wound up.
Even when you do manage to stay focused and on topic, there are some fights that stubbornly refuse to die by bedtime. And if you stifle your real feelings just to meet some arbitrary deadline, your marriage will surely be the worse for it. This was a huge lesson for me. As women we've been trained to make nice. But the whole kiss-and-make-up thing just to keep the peace was eating me up inside. I'd let things build up inside me until I just exploded. Now I wait a while to get hold of myself — let the emotions settle a bit — and state my position. Even if that means reopening the fight the next day.
4. You will go without sex — sometimes for a long time — and that's okay.
There are few men in the Western world sexier than my husband. And I don't say this because I know he may read this article. I've seen women checking him out when they think I'm not looking. (Honestly, ladies, you don't have to sneak a peek. I don't mind if you stare.) That said, there are times that I just don't feel like having sex — often for reasons that have nothing to do with Michael. I can't lie and say this is always okay with him. But the fact is, there are also plenty of nights when he's not in the mood. So maybe a few days go by when we don't do it. And then a few more. And...
Sexless periods are a natural part of married life. A dry spell isn't a sign that you've lost your mojo or that you'll never have sex again. It just means that maybe this week, sleep is more important than sex. (I don't know about you, but between work, the PTA, soccer, T-ball, and everything else, I sometimes crave sleep the way a pimply, hormonal adolescent longs to cop a feel.)
And don't kid yourself; no one in America is doing it as often as popular culture would have you believe. Instead of worrying about how much you think you "should" be having sex, keep the focus on figuring out your own rhythm. I used to think, What's happened to us? We always used to be in the mood. Now I know better. Life happens. My husband just started a new job. He has long shifts, and we have children. I think we're good.
The key is to make sure that even if you're not doing "it," you're still doingsomething — touching, kissing, hugging. Personally, my heart gets warm and mushy when my husband rubs my feet after a long, tiring day. He may not be anywhere near my G-spot, but that little bit of touch and attention keeps us connected even when we're not having spine-tingling sex.
5. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
I can be a bit of a know-it-all. There, I said it. It's really not my intention to be hurtful or brash with people I love. It's just that a lifetime of experience has taught me that in most areas, at most times, I am right about most things. What shocked me several years into my marriage, though, was the realization that the more "right" I was, the more discontented my husband and I were as a couple. See, oddly enough, throughout his life Michael has been under the misguided impression that he's right most of the time (go figure!). So we'd lock horns — often. That is, until I learned a few things.
Namely, that when it comes to certain disagreements, there is no right or wrong — there is simply your way of looking at things and your husband's. I used to be very black-and-white earlier in our relationship. Now I see that I'm not all right and my husband is not all wrong. There's more gray in life than I thought, and that's taught me patience and the value of compromise.
The more I get to know and appreciate my husband for who he is, the more I respect his positions. That doesn't mean I always agree with him. But I can see the value in striking a balance that satisfies us both. And instead of harping on how wrong he is, I can usually swallow the verbal vitriol and simply say something like, "I see your point" or "I hadn't considered that." After I sincerely acknowledge his view, it seems to become easier for him to hear mine. And because I know I'm being heard, most of the time now, I don't even want to prove how right I am anymore. Funny how that works, isn't it?
6. A great marriage doesn't mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.
Maybe you think that because of my newfound wisdom, Michael and I never fight anymore. Ha! As important as it is to strike a balance, it's also important to have a big, fat fight every now and then. Because when you fight, you don't just raise your voices; you raise real — sometimes buried — issues that challenge you to come to a clearer understanding of you, your man, and your relationship. I wouldn't give up our fights for anything in the world, because I know in the end they won't break us; they'll only make us stronger.
7. You'll realize that you can only change yourself.
Ever seen the '80s sci-fi cult classic Making Mr. Right? When the stylish heroine, played by Ann Magnuson, is hired to teach a robot how to act like a human, she seizes the chance to create a perfect guy. A hotshot commercial whiz, she uses her marketing prowess to shape John Malkovich's android character into her personal version of the ideal man — sensitive, eager to please, and willing to listen.
There is a bit of that makeover fantasy in all of us — something that makes us believe we can change the person we love, make him just a little bit closer to perfect. We may use support and empathy or shouts and ultimatums, but with dogged conviction we take on this huge responsibility, convinced we're doing the right thing.
Whatever our motives, the effort is exhausting. Transforming a full-grown man — stripping him of decades-old habits, beliefs, and idiosyncrasies — is truly an impossible task. And you will come to realize, sooner than later if you're lucky, that it is far easier to change the way you respond to him.
Here's a perfect case in point: I used to go off on my husband because he didn't empty the sink trap when he cleaned the kitchen. It got me nowhere; my rants only made him resentful. Now I come home and when the kitchen looks clean, I'm like, 'Cool, now all I have to do is empty the sink trap.'
8. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you're really made of.
I've got issues. Trust issues. Control issues. And others, I'm sure, that I've yet to fully discover. I guess I've always known I wasn't perfect. But in more than a decade of dating woes, I've been smacked upside the head with the cold, hard evidence.
I still struggle as a work in progress. But I am completely clear in the knowledge that many of the deepest frustrations in your relationship are an opportunity for you to confront yourself. That can be difficult to accept — after all, it's so much more comforting to keep a running tab of your hubby's deficits and tell yourself that his failings are the only thing standing between you and a better marriage. But if you let it, this bumpy journey toward self-awareness can be one of the more fulfilling rewards of a committed, long-term relationship — you'll learn to love your quirks and be compassionate toward yourself, just as you're learning to do with him.
That's the strange beauty of marriage: It's full of hard times and hard lessons that no one can ever prepare you for. But in the end, those are the things that give richness to your life together — and make your love even deeper and stronger than when it began.

Everything Happens

The one thing I’m most proud of in this past year is the sense that improbably, imperceptibly, and incrementally I’ve grown to be more me. I used to carry a great weight of remorse about my choices, about living a life that doesn’t conform to cultural expectations, & about having a history marked more by depression & loneliness than joy & connection. The more I’ve accepted who I am & what I’ve done, the more joy & connection I’ve found—& the more joy & connection I’ve found, the more I’ve accepted who I am.

Being depressed is a lot about feeling stuck. It’s a lot about feeling that your life doesn’t change, that you just spin your wheels in the much & the dreck & you’re just so tired. The thing is, however, that change happens. However paradoxical, it’s an immutable fact that everything changes. I’m not one of those people who believe that everything happens for a reason—there’s much in this world that’s entirely random and meaningless, & I’m grateful for that—but everything does happen.

Everything does not, however, happen as you plan, or necessarily as you want, but happen it will. The more work you put into things happening, the better the chance is that what will happen will somewhat conform to your hopes & dreams, but that’s not a given. Only that things change is a given.

Sunset Sangria

Ingredients

1 (750 milliliter) bottle rose wine
1 cup pineapple juice
1/2 cup vodka
1/4 cup triple sec
1/2 cup simple syrup
1 orange, sliced into rounds
1 lemon, sliced into rounds
1 lime, sliced into rounds
1 (6 ounce) container fresh raspberries

Directions:

Combine wine, pineapple juice, vodka, triple sec, and simple syrup in a large bowl or pitcher. Refrigerate until chilled, about 1 hour.
Stir the oranges, lemons, limes, and raspberries into the chilled sangria at least 30 minutes before serving. The longer the fruit marinates the better. Serve over ice.

Best Brisket Recipe

Ingredients

2 tablespoons chili powder
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon ground black pepper
1 tablespoon white sugar
1 tablespoon seasoned salt
1 (4 pound) beef brisket
1 1/2 cups beef broth
Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
Combine the chili powder, salt, garlic powder, onion powder, black pepper, sugar, and seasoning salt in a medium bowl, and blend thoroughly. Apply rub to surface of brisket.
Cook brisket, uncovered, in preheated oven for 1 hour. Remove from oven and add beef broth to roasting pan. Lower oven temperature to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C), cover roasting pan tightly with foil, and cook 3 more hours. Let brisket rest 30 minutes before slicing.

Would Cleopatra Have Used Summer's Eve?

In a refreshing change of pace for us, the most offensive thing in the August issue of Cosmo had nothing to do with the actual content of the magazine. That honor goes to a Summer's Eve ad that declares that Cleopatra would have been a big fan of their 'feminine hygiene' products. Let's break it down.

Cleopatra used sea kelp, goat's milk, and rosemary leaves. Life's hard even for a beautiful young pharaoh. Famine. Droughts. Marriage with a younger brother.

Yeah, you know how it is. Droughts, famines. Had to marry her brother, that must have been a bummer, am I right? At this point I was thinking that they had to be kidding, because nobody could possibly think this this was a good description of Cleopatra or summary of the hardships that she faced in her life. Unfortunately for me, I tested that theory by reading the rest.

But Cleopatra still found the time to take care of her most precious resource. No, not the Nile. We're talking about her V.

That's right, everyone. You may have thought that Cleopatra's most precious "resource" was her intelligence, political acumen, courage, strength, or charisma. Nope, sorry folks, it's all about the ladybits. I also can't help but read between the lines here. By saying that her most precious resource was "her V", are they going for a 'magical wonderful essence of womanhood' sort of a thing...or just implying that she used sex to get what she wanted? Like I said, I'm sure I'm reading into this more than the brilliant ad agency who wrote it intended, but I think this whole concept is pretty weird.

You can bet she would have loved to have Summer's Eve Cleansing Wash and Cleansing Cloths back then. Specially formulated, they help get you fresh and keep you fresh all day long. Now, what queen doesn't love that?

Since Cleopatra lived in a totally different time and a different society with its own rules and practices regarding hygiene, I can bet that she wouldn't. (And of course even here in our own time, many experts consider most of Summer's Eve's products to be unnecessary or even unhealthy for women.) What are the rest of the ads in this campaign going to look like? Maybe we'll find out that Joan of Arc was more successful in battle when she felt fresh, or that Marie Curie totally would have endorsed Summer's Eve's special formulas. If you need to get in a time machine to create an imaginary celebrity spokesperson for your product, maybe it's time to rethink your ad campaign.

Sausage Jalapeno Poppers

Ingredients

2 (12 ounce) packages ground sausage
2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
30 jalapeno chile peppers
1 pound sliced bacon, cut in half
Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
Place ground sausage in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium high heat until evenly brown.
Drain sausage and place in a medium bowl. Mix with the cream cheese.
Cut jalapenos in half lengthwise. Remove the seeds. Stuff each jalapeno half with equal portions of the sausage and cream cheese mixture. Wrap with half slices of bacon. Secure bacon with toothpicks.
Arrange wrapped jalapenos in a large, shallow baking dish. Bake in the preheated oven 20 minutes, or until the bacon is evenly brown.