What I've Learned About Love Thus Far

1) Communicate- If someone is making you feel something, you should probably say something. It doesn’t happen often. So don’t waste something you crave so passionately. Let it be known.

2) Move forward – What would be the point of life to regress? To do something over again when you in your heart know how it ends.

3) Let go – Baby it’s time to let go. Move on. Set yourself free to find new love.

4) Love someone for who they are, not what you want them to be. Find someone who loves you for who you are, not what they want you to be.

5) Cry when it hurts – It’s okay to feel. It’s perfectly fine to be sad sometimes. You can’t be so strong all the time. You’re not a robot… as much as you want to be sometimes.

6) Don’t lower your standards- Keep them high, don’t settle for someone that doesn’t deserve you. When the right one comes along… the standards wont matter.

7) Be true to yourself- because really, it’s all we got in the end, right?

Thats all that I’ve come up with so far. I still have so much to learn.

Cherokee Food Culture

Food Culture of the Eastern Band of the Cherokee Indians 
The Eastern Band of the Cherokee Indians is a very proud people. They have gone through many great trials, and have overcome them to be the people that they are today. This tribe is the second largest Indian tribe in the United States, with more than 200,000 members. Almost 70,000 of those still live on seven thousand square miles that covers parts of fourteen counties, with some of those in the northeastern part of Oklahoma. This is a federally-recognized tribe with a form of government called tripartite democratic. 
The first Europeans came through Cherokee in 1540 and lived peacefully with the members. In 1838 the tragic event called the Trail of Tears led to Indian Removals to Indian Territory in what is now the state of Oklahoma. They were forced to travel about 1,000 miles on foot. Many of the people died along the journey. The period between the removal time and the Civil War is called the Cherokee Golden Age, and times were good. 
The Cherokee people were hunters, fishers, farmers and gatherers. The younger men used bows and arrows to kill their meats. Even the skins, bones and antlers were used. The skins were used for trading as well as for clothing and other items. The bones and antlers were used to make tools and other equipment. After the crops were planted, the women, children and older men tended the crops. Plant foods which were either hunted or gathered represented about sixty percent of the diet of the Cherokee people. The main crop was maize (corn), which is harvested in August, the end of the farming season. Many of the crops and meats were preserved by some of the same methods that we use today, with the most traditional methods being drying and burying. 
After European contact, the Cherokee people began the practice of animal husbandry and raising domestic animals. The food availability also changed after this contact. Lumbering, mining and dam building caused fish and game to be scarce. The Europeans also brought things like coffee and sugar. 
Old traditions are retained because of the tribal system. Gathering of foods is not only a survival technique, but also a social activity. The foods eaten and the methods used to prepare the foods are all rooted deeply in culture. In fact, “organized social relationships, religious rituals, and non farming subsistence activities were regulated by the life cycle of the maize plant” (Terry, 1998, p. 19). Many of the stems, leaves and wild roots, such as yellow root and blood root, were also used for medicinal purposes. 
Bear, rabbit, ground hog, raccoon, quail and other birds, possum, trout and other fish, wild boar, squirrel, muskrat, rattlesnake, crows foot, deer, buffalo, turtle, elk, frog legs and crawfish are some of the sources of meat that were hunted by tribal men. The bear fat was rendered for use as grease. Some of the meat was dried or ground into powder for future use. 
Fruits were also a gathered seasonally and eaten or preserved. Some of the fruits that were eaten were huckleberries (wild blueberries), blackberries, strawberries, raspberries, gooseberries and elderberries. 
Some of the more traditional dishes that are consumed by the Cherokee people are bean bread, fry bread, poke salad, chestnut bread, branch lettuce, bear grass, sochani, honey locust drink, leather breeches (a kind of green bean), hominy, sassafras tea, spicewood tea, ramps, slicks (a type of mushroom), swamp potatoes, wisi (pronounced wishy) mushrooms, butter beans, creases, hickory nuts, bean salad, dandelions, turnip greens, pumpkin, sunflower, squash, collard greens, mustard greens, watercress, sweet grass, mountain salad, dock weed, lamb’s quarters, pig weed, jellico, hominy corn drink, lye dumplings, pinto beans and hickory nut soup. 
Separate studies done by Story and Terry in the 1980’s, found that the Cherokee people have deficiencies in Calcium, Iron, Thiamin, Riboflavin, Ascorbic Acid, Vitamin A and Vitamin C. They also have a high rate of adult onset diabetes as well as lactose intolerance. 
Today, the Cherokee people eat in much the same way that we eat. Their diets include fast foods and highly processed foods. But many of the tribal members still prepare their meals in a similar fashion as their ancestors and continue to eat the traditional foods. It is important for the Cherokee Indian people to pass on their culture to their children. This includes food, as well as language, art skills and celebration styles. 

Cherokee Chicken

4 chicken breasts, skin removed
2 tbsp. butter or oil
1 med. green pepper, chopped
2 tbsp. minced onion
2 tbsp. sweet vermouth
1 (14 oz.) can jellied cranberry sauce
Salt and pepper to taste

Brown chicken breast in butter or oil. Remove chicken breast from pan. Saute green pepper and minced onion. Add vermouth and cranberry sauce. Cook on high 5 minutes. Return chicken to pan. Reduce to simmer for 35-40 minutes, turning chicken and occasionally stirring.

Cherokee Succotash

2 lb fresh or dry Lima beans (baby limas are best)
3 cups fresh corn cut from cob
4-6 onions (wild or pearl)
salt to taste
2 tbs melted bacon fat
2 pieces smoked ham hock
3 qts water pepper to taste (optional)

Soak beans, if using dry ones, for 3-4 hours. Bring the water to a boil then add the beans.   Cook at a moderate boil for 10 minutes then add the corn, ham hocks, salt & pepper, and onions. Reduce heat and cook for 1 hour on a low heat.

Spicing Up Intimacy

Making love with the man or woman in your life is the most intimate way to express affection for each other. It is also one of the ways to appreciate the art and beauty of the each other’s body. This has to be something special between the two of you, and for that, a lot of ways to intensify that intimacy was created.

Recently, the use of fetish toys, fetish clothing, gay toys, and the like has increased among the homosexuals, or straight men and women alike. Use of clothing and toys for fetish is said to enhance and spice up the sex life of couples. There are a lot of stores that cater to the needs of people who wants to enhance their sex lives. There are a lot of varieties to choose from, and some of the products available for merchandise are fetish toys, fetish clothing, gay toys, and many others.

As for fetish clothing, there are a lot of stores that offer unique and very alluring designs. Whether you want hard to find specialized spandex, Lycra and metal fetish clothing and cages for men, it has become easier to look for them online. These are built to enhance your body build and to make those love machines look bigger in size. From fetish clothing made of leather, bikini, thong, g-string and others, choose those designs and fabrics that suit you.

Another kind of fetish clothing is made of rubber or latex. They come in different colors and sizes that suit you and could attract the eyes of your lover. Rubber-made fetish clothing is very fashionable, and could suit the straight or homosexual man alike, but this kind of fetish clothing could also irritate your skin. It could cause rashes or bumps to the skin, making it unattractive to look at. Do not go for the sake of fashion alone. It is advised that you conduct testing first.

In case of allergies, opt for fetish clothing made of either leather, vinyl, spandex or lycra. They also come in different designs that make you look attractive in the nude without those rashes or bumps.

Sex life is not spiced up by fetish clothing alone, but also by fetish toys and gay toys for the homosexual men. Fetish toys and gay toys, just like fetish clothing is widely available on the internet, so better check out those search engines and start looking. Choose for the sizes that suit your body built, and most of all, pleasure.

These things are made to enhance every couple’s affection for each other. Just be careful of what clothing and toys to choose, though, as it could also lose the appetite of your partner once you have worn or chose the wrong ones.

Try fetishes and make your partner crave you more. Jump on those computers and look for fetish clothing and toys that suit you. Be adventurous and make tonight more special than ever before.

Common Misunderstandings of Fetishism

Fetish -

Also spelled: fetich or fetisch (fêt'îsh, fea'tîsh) Noun.
1. A material object or a non-sexual part of the body that arouses sexual desire; and may be necessary for sexual gratification.
2. An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence.
3. An object that has magical or spiritual powers, especially such an object associated with shamanistic spiritual practices.

The meaning of the word fetish is dependent on whom you are asking to define the word. Outside of the dictionary, the popular definition of a fetish is anything that causes a strong sexual appeal; whether it be an object or an act, and is outside of 'normal' sexually arousing things. Others might add that the fetish is necessary for sexual gratification to be accomplished.

Both of the above definitions, the one from the dictionary and the one from popular culture, are either wrong or incomplete, and seem to be used only by those who don't really understand fetishism (clinical psychology, for example; and even those who have fetishes often don't understand fetishism. Having a fetish does not necessitate comprehension of the object's meaning). By the way, who gets to decide what 'normal' sexual attractions are? The fact that no one really knows what 'normal' is makes the popular definition of fetish invalid, and the fact that fetishes do not have to be associated with sexuality makes the dictionary definition wrong. Well, the dictionary is sort of admitting that fetishes don't have to be sexual; but it says that if they aren't, then they are objects that are "worshipped", and that is wrong.

I can see why many people think fetishes are being worshipped; because people uneducated in fetishism, looking from the outside at a fetish act; to them it could easily appear that the fetish object is being worshipped, but that's not true, the object is not being worshipped; the object is being used as a conduit to reach an altered state or a higher state of consciousness; at least that is what is being attempted by the fetishist, whether they realize what they are doing on a conscious level or not.

For those who do not realize what they are doing in essence, for them, fetishes end up just being objects to enhance sexual gratification, but that is lowest, most unskilled realm of fetishism, and is also the most common conception of fetishism in pop-culture.

Most fetishes are used in non-sexual rituals, though the common conception of a fetish seems to be that they are always used in sex rituals. That is simply not true and is an indication that pop-culture is very ignorant about fetishism.

The main error in pop-culture's definition of the word fetish is that it is thought of as either an act or an object: that is incorrect. A fetish is an object, not an act. (The dictionary does recognize that it is always an object, not an act; so that part of it is actually right.) If a fetish object is being used in a certain act, then and only then can an act be called a fetish act; only because the fetish object is being brought into the act. For example, many people who enjoy being spanked say that they have a "fetish" for spanking. Well, that's not accurate; instead, I would call that a strong affinity, a fixation, or a high interest in spanking, but not a fetish. However, if a person has a particular affinity for a certain object being used on them during a spanking (such a hairbrush) and the sight of the object itself arouses a fantastic interest, this indicates that the object of high interest during spankings is the fetish and the spanking with the object is the fetish act.

Why do so many people have a hard time defining the word fetish? My guess is because there really is no word to label specific (ritualistic) actions that do not involve special objects; but are held in strong interest by their participants, and are often done in a very particular way. Not only does the English language lack a word to describe strong affinities for certain types of activities, the German language does not even contain the word: spanking! They have to use the English word! Since there is no special word to define strong affinities, they are often mistakenly called fetishes.

The best definition The Dictionary uses is the latter one; though even that one has a long way to go to become accurate. The objects in Shamanism are not 'worshipped' by their holders: They are symbolic objects used as mediums and conduits to reach a spiritual plane or a certain deity or spirit. Further, Shamanism is not a religion. (I can imagine how the inexperienced men who wrote that dictionary might watch a fetishistic ritual and assume that the objects are being worshipped because they don't understand what the objects represent to the creators of them.)

Worship does not go beyond the object; worship ends at the object. That is the difference between worshipping an object vs. using an object as a conduit to reach something beyond the object itself. Unskilled fetishists attempt to go beyond their fetish objects, though they don't know how, so they try to worship the objects deeper, harder, faster, whatever; in a natural, though unconscious effort to go beyond the object into an entirely new realm of consciousness. This natural phenomenon occurs both inside and outside of the sexual realm of fetishism (sexual concepts of fetishism are relatively recent, probably a result of Industrialization).

Modern cultures have lost touch with their ancient cultures; nevertheless, the natural, primal tendency to use fetishes in ritual acts in order to reach deeper levels within the self, in order to open doorways of communication to the spirits, the higher self, the deeper self, god, goddess, whatever your conception of is of higher and/or deeper, remains ingrained in the collective psyche (to use an ancient African/Egyptian Obehan term, commonly regarded as a modern Jungian term; Jung made a lifetime of studying obscure and ancient cultures, taking their concepts and applying them to his Western views). Whether this natural phenomenon is encoded in the collective unconscious, in our DNA or in our genes, does not matter; the point is that this tendency is archaic and modern at once, and is not likely to disappear from our species anytime soon (if ever).

It is natural that Western culture has sexualized the primal urge towards altered states and communion with the Divine or The Higher Realm, whatever you want to call it; since most people don't know how else to fulfill their primal need for reaching ecstacy and altered states. Using a fetish to reach the altered state is simply using a tool to accomplish the agenda. Most people have not been taught how to do something about their inherent urges towards Divine Communion (which may be thought of as communion with something outside of us, or with a part of ourselves; either way, it's really the same place people are trying to reach; they just think of it differently; so it naturally comes out in the form of a sexual fetish because the culture is so obsessed with sexuality and because sex is the most intense experience most people have ever had; so people try to use it unconsciously to reach an even deeper intensity of a different kind (ultimately beyond the sexual, though very few are successful at getting beyond the sex part of a sexual fetish though that's what they are trying to do unconsciously).

Western culture always sexualizes things that it does not know how to deal with any other way. If our culture does not know what else to do except sexualize the compulsion towards altered states, or deeper states of being, then naturally this urge is expressed through the sexual medium; because there are no other mediums readily available in Western Culture.

Fetishes: History & Practice

A good basic working definition for sexual fetishism is when someone is aroused by an object or part of a body that is not normally considered a turn-on. If you get incredibly turned on by feet--which are not generally considered an erogenous zone--you are a foot fetishist. On the other hand, getting turned on by breasts is normal in our society and does not make you a fetishist. The exceptions to that would be if you cannot climax unless you're touching your breasts; or if you can only be turned on by an unusual type of breast (exceptionally large, unusually long, etc.).

But fetishism isnt just about sex. Fetishists experience an emotional, sometimes spiritual, response to their fetish object. Some feel at their most alive when in contact with the object of their sexual fascination. Some fetishists long to worship their fetish, and may even feel more psychically connected to their fetish objects than to other people. I compare sexual fetishes to the religious fetishes from whence they derive their name.

The word fetish originally comes from the Portuguese word, fetico, meaning "charm". Old World Portuguese explorers used it to describe the religious relics they found in tribal cultures. In its original anthropological context, a fetish was any religious artifact which tribal peoples believed had magical powers. It wasnt until the 19th century that "fetish" was used to describe objects that turned people on. When thinking about fetishes, its good to remember the history of the term because it helps to understand the metaphysical reality of fetishes. To the true foot fetishist, feet are more than feet--they are a key to emotional and erotic gratification.

Literally any part of a body can have appeal to a fetishist. A fetish for a body part is actually known as "partialism," while "fetish" more strictly refers to inanimate things, such as materials (e.g., rubber, latex, lace, fur) or objects (e.g., shoes, hats, gloves, veils, masks, underwear).

Most peoples fetishes are so mild people dont realize they have them. For example, you may love the smell of leather and its presence adds a touch of excitement to love-making. You wouldnt be clinically diagnosed as a fetishist, but you share that universal impulse to be aroused by something that isnt explicitly sexual. At the other extreme are fetishists who really cannot achieve peak sexual ecstasy unless their fetish object is present. For them, intimacy and relationships are genuinely difficult. The vast majority of fetishists fall in the middle: they have a strong fetish but can also have satisfying encounters without the fetish object present.

There is no hard data on how fetishes form. There have been some promising strides in brain research that may, one day, yield information but, for now, we depend on theories to explain it. Freudian and neo-Freudian analysts have suggested that fetishism is a result of sexual shame. At some early age, a child sees a sexual organ or act and feels so embarrassed, he fastens his eyes on something else (hair, feet, or garments), that later becomes his fetish. Others believe that there is a pivotal event in a fetishists life (usually in childhood) which permanently shapes his sexual identity. For example, a toddler sniffs a pair of feet while crawling and becomes permanently fixated on feet.

My theory is that fetishism is a universal impulse. Deep down, all humans have the potential to believe that objects possess magical powers or that material things represent emotional fulfillment. We may snicker when we hear about someone caught sniffing panties or wearing rubber, but think about the people (you may be one) who have collections of "stuff." Whether you collect pictures of Elvis or statues of dragons, it would be hard to put into words exactly why these things seem so cool to you. Yet you feel satisfaction knowing you have them and enjoy looking at them. Fetishists are the same way: only, in their case, they also get sexually aroused by their stuff. I believe that fetishists were born with a stronger impulse to fetishize things (just as some people are born with a stronger musical sense than others) and that this impulse may be galvanized by an early childhood contact with an object or body part that arouses them. That first contact probably occurs before the child is even conscious that the fetish object is sexual. For the child, it is more likely just something that comforts or fascinates them. In puberty, though, the child may become aware that contact with the object arouses them, or they find themselves fantasizing about the object when masturbating. By the time you are an adult, a fetish is firmly entrenched in your psychology. Its so much a part of your sexual identity that you would not be yourself without it.

There's no evidence that fetishes can be cured and lots of evidence that forcing a fetishist to renounce his needs leads to depression and worse. Fetishes can't be cured because they are not a disease. They are a quirky or extreme example of a common human behavior but they are not, in and of themselves, wrong or unhealthy. What does send fetishists into counseling, though, is the difficulty of growing up as a fetishist in a sex-negative world. As teens, fetishists usually hide their interests and feel awkward with members of the opposite sex. How do you tell a girl on a first date, "I'd love to smell your feet" when shes expecting a good night kiss? As adults, many fetishists marry partners who are unaware of their kink. This results in all kinds of problems that I regularly address in my counseling practice, including wives who feel betrayed because their husbands seem more interested in their fetish than in them.

A final word on fetishes. After nearly 5 years of exploring kink and fetishism, and writing about and interviewing hundreds of people, I can honestly say that one just NEVER knows how many variations exist. Every time I think I've compiled a comprehensive list of fetishes, someone emails me about some delightfully unusual new twist. So expect the unexpected when exploring the world of fetishes. I guarantee you will always be surprised.